Monday, March 17, 2008

A few hours for Lord

Today I got out of the house for a few hours to go to church, It has been a while since the last time I attended a full service. Now that we're living with my parents we go to my old ward before we were married, it is a little strange. I have to wonder if it is going to be hard to get to know some of the new members when I have can be in my own little comfort zone, and always having someone to sit next to ( my mom), I'll have to work on being more open to the spirit and see who I feel I need to sit next to, that was one thing I loved about this ward, I always tried to sit by someone new every Sunday. This is going to be my new challenge for my to work on.

I want to write about a experience I had today while sitting in Sacrament Meeting. The speakers we're a young family with two small children a 3 year old and around a 1 year old. The mother spoke first.
She was so enjoyable to listen to, She made us all want to cry, the had us trying so hard not to break out in laughter, all things that I feel make someone a awesome speaker to listen to.
The mother was telling us about a day she had that was so horrible, and everything went wrong. This is what I remember about her talk.

"Before I was married I thought I was a very patient person, now that I have kids I know that I have very little... I realized that our car licence was going to expire the next day so I make a phone call with a local safety and imissuions to set up an appointment. I then get my two young girls into the car which is always a challenge. We had just bought a new double jogger stroller, so I had to figure out how that works so I could take it with us, so I can go on a jog while they work on the car and the time it not a complete waste of time. We get to the place I asked them about how long it would take they told me around 45mins, I thought perfect I can go on a jog with plenty of time. We set out on our jog, and my three year old keeps asking me mommy where are we going, why are we going this way.. I at this time I was in a full jog and when I jog I don't, like to talk because I am gasping for breath if I do and it sounds rather bad. I started to get very frustrated with my 3 year old. Telling her not to worry about it and that she should be going to sleep. About 10 mins later I just cant handle it anymore and we go back. I was praying please let my car be done because I don't know what I'm going to do if its not. When we got back the car was done, that was about the only thing that went right all day. My youngest fell asleep on the jog so I put my three year old in the car while I buckle my other one in her car seat. As I do this my 3yr old is climbing back and forth between the two front seats. After a moment she says mommy I had a accident. I looked up at the seats, she had not just peed on one seat she had peed on both of them. They both had puddles in them. I was so mad. She was upset about wetting her pants but I was more upset that I just didn't care. I then threw her into her car seat buckled her in and went home. I did put a towel on the seat so I didn't have in sit in it. I had to hurry and give her a bath and get her ready for a costume party she was invited to. I had it in my head that ohh they will look so cute and I will get the most perfect pictures and everything will be just great. After I had her cleaned up I threw her in her costume and we hurried out the door. Once we were at the party my friend had forgot something so I offered to run to her house and get what she needed and I wanted to grab my camera that I forgot on the way she let me take her car. I got to my house grabbed my camera, started to leave, when I couldn't find her car keys, I then spent a hour looking for her car keys, so this day I still have not found them. When I finally got back to the party it was just about over. I took the girls home made dinner which I hoped wasn't yucky. When my husband got home I threw the girls at him and went to my room and prayed and cried. I told Heavenly Father, I have nothing left to give I cant do it anymore. And asked for help."

I loved her talk, but as I was listening to her once she started on how mad she was starting to get I felt the spirit leave. Its a strange feeling to feel the Spirit leave his own house. It did later come back.

It got me thinking, she was just talking like she would to a friend talking about her day. How often does the Spirit leave because of how we say something or retell an event to someone?

The Spirit was so strong after the first half, and it was so easily lost, with a few words and emotions.

I began to think about how welcome do I make the Savior and the spirit into my life... am I doing all that I should be... what things do I need to change to make it more inviting...

I told Sam about all my feelings and my thoughts. (He got to stay home with Mariska) As I was telling him about everything I was ready to cry. I truly want to be in tune with my Savior and the Holy Spirit. More now then ever, with Mariska's next surgery coming up so fast. I want to keep the guidance we had when she was first born and we could only depend on the spirit to help us get past the rocky moments of our families life.

I was was listening to my dad (Mariska's grandpa) Talk about his calling in the branch over in Iraq. He was saying how it was just a handful of members that would attend the meetings, They had to split it up into three days to work with the long days they worked over there, so everyone could have a chance to attend. He was saying that the ones that came were the ones who truly wanted to be there.

How much would that change our church if everyone that came truly wanted to be there and gave all they could, by singing every song with all they had, and participating in all the classes...
I hope I'm better at this and meet some of my goals.

Thank you so much for your thoughts. I'm so sorry that we haven't been able to respond to each post. I'm sorry if we haven't returned your phone call or email. We get every message... email, letter or voicemail. It's encouraging and strengthening. Thank you for all you have done for us. We are truly blessed. The Lord works in mysterious ways. He has blessed us in so many ways and often times it's in ways we would never have thought... but suddenly things come to light and we realize that Heavenly Father and Jesus Christ are with us through this. What a beautiful gift it is that They are so close.



Gourley Family said...

That bottom picture of the Savior holding the little baby is the same one that we are having them put on the side of Ryker's and Lilly's headstone. It is the sweetest picture and we just love it. How true it is, that we can so easily lose the spirit in our homes so quickly. I am finding more and more that with everything my husband and I have gone through, that we truly need to turn all we do and have to the Lord. Thank-you for sharing your thoughts. They are inspiring!

Vanderbeeks Images said...

Thank you for sharing that! I am teaching on Sunday in RS about Pres. Hickley's talk - Slow to Anger. It's amazing how often we offend the Spirit with our words. I've been struggling with my kids this week and being so tired and the stress of another cancer check up that I haven't been the best me I could be. Your thoughts really touched my heart!